February seems like the month for me to lose things.
At the beginning of the month I lost my mountain-goat bag; it was stolen when I put it at the racks in front of the bookstore.
Notice how the bookstore takes off their notices saying, "Strictly no bags allowed"? Well, that is because of me.
Later on I lost the chance to go to Bali really cheaply. I just missed the AirAsia promo by a few hours. And most of my friends who planned to stay here during the semester break is going. So then I totally flipped and changed my mind - I'm not staying here for the semester break! I just bought a ticket home to Jakarta on the 31st of May, so its FINAL.
So I also lost my chances of staying in Cyberjaya during break - although no-one really recommends it to me.
Then, today, I lost one of the people who I call my bestfriend. Yeah, maybe he doesn't feel the same, maybe I'm just another friend who doesn't really matter much. But he is important to me, and I care about him too much that it seems weird to imagine a life without him.
One of the few Indonesian's who are taking accounting in MMU bailed out - again. I already lost one friend, now I'm losing another?
I know I'm being a drama queen and making too much of a fuss about this. I mean, he's only changing major and still be in MMU.
But to imagine not having the same classes, not having someone there to laugh about the lecturer or sharing comments of that weird kid who's sitting on the other row. Imagining not going to lunch together after class and sharing the latest gossip. Imagining not having someone who I trust with my secrets here beside me.
Imagining going through the hellhole of "accounting" alone.
Alone.
One thing from being different... is being set apart from anything else.
The majority of Indonesian FOM students are taking Finance with Multimedia. They have the experience of sharing classes together, eating lunch together, doing assignments together.
I wont have that memory. The chances of having that memory is gone now.
I called my sister and bawled my eyes off until my credit is finished. But she managed to say a few words that ringed in my ear.
She said, "C'mon Amee, cheer up. You're used to leaving and being left by now."
Yes, its true. As a constant traveller who never stays in one place for more than 4 years, I'm used to being left and leaving things behind.
I try not to get attached.
But you never get used to the feeling of emptiness it leaves behind.
Never. No matter how many times, losing something is probably the most terrible feeling that ever touched my heart.
Like a papercut, though small, it stings like hell.
And to top it all, I also lost my MP3 player today. Noooooooo! What am I without my MP3??
February, you are the month of losses.
At the beginning of the month I lost my mountain-goat bag; it was stolen when I put it at the racks in front of the bookstore.
Notice how the bookstore takes off their notices saying, "Strictly no bags allowed"? Well, that is because of me.
Later on I lost the chance to go to Bali really cheaply. I just missed the AirAsia promo by a few hours. And most of my friends who planned to stay here during the semester break is going. So then I totally flipped and changed my mind - I'm not staying here for the semester break! I just bought a ticket home to Jakarta on the 31st of May, so its FINAL.
So I also lost my chances of staying in Cyberjaya during break - although no-one really recommends it to me.
Then, today, I lost one of the people who I call my bestfriend. Yeah, maybe he doesn't feel the same, maybe I'm just another friend who doesn't really matter much. But he is important to me, and I care about him too much that it seems weird to imagine a life without him.
One of the few Indonesian's who are taking accounting in MMU bailed out - again. I already lost one friend, now I'm losing another?
I know I'm being a drama queen and making too much of a fuss about this. I mean, he's only changing major and still be in MMU.
But to imagine not having the same classes, not having someone there to laugh about the lecturer or sharing comments of that weird kid who's sitting on the other row. Imagining not going to lunch together after class and sharing the latest gossip. Imagining not having someone who I trust with my secrets here beside me.
Imagining going through the hellhole of "accounting" alone.
Alone.
One thing from being different... is being set apart from anything else.
The majority of Indonesian FOM students are taking Finance with Multimedia. They have the experience of sharing classes together, eating lunch together, doing assignments together.
I wont have that memory. The chances of having that memory is gone now.
I called my sister and bawled my eyes off until my credit is finished. But she managed to say a few words that ringed in my ear.
She said, "C'mon Amee, cheer up. You're used to leaving and being left by now."
Yes, its true. As a constant traveller who never stays in one place for more than 4 years, I'm used to being left and leaving things behind.
I try not to get attached.
But you never get used to the feeling of emptiness it leaves behind.
Never. No matter how many times, losing something is probably the most terrible feeling that ever touched my heart.
Like a papercut, though small, it stings like hell.
And to top it all, I also lost my MP3 player today. Noooooooo! What am I without my MP3??
February, you are the month of losses.
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